“They are just spamming. I know I can’t do anything wrong!”, “He said I am a bad writer and can’t do anything in life. He is right.” These two examples are extreme statements one can give. I believe both are harmful. There are two types of criticism; one is constructive criticism, and the second one is destructive criticism. Without proper knowledge about them, one says the first two statements.
Also, there are people on the internet, and the real world, whom you cannot take seriously. If you do, they can push you towards depression. But not all humans are critical. There are always some good souls who want to drive you towards excellence. They are very few, but yes, they exist.
Why People Give Negative Comments?
It is a very wise question, but the answer is simple. There are three possible reasons. One, the person giving you negative feedback want to demotivate you. He/she want to see you fail.
Two, the person think of him/her as wise, and arguing what you are doing is wrong. Because that person wants to pump his/her ego, and you are just a medium.
Three, he/she is trying to help you by showing the flaws that you need to correct. We need the last type of negative comment.
All Positive Comments Are Not Good
“You are doing great!”, “No one is better than you”. Imagine someone is saying these words. Many people get charged with energy when someone is saying good things about them. But that’s not a good approach. Although, I’m not advising you not to recognize the people who love your work. But this could be destructive if you take those comments too seriously. Ego is your enemy, and positive comments feed that ego.
Then what to do? You can follow what I follow. Recognize the genuine comments and thank that person for encouraging you. Tell your inner self, “yes, people are saying good things about me, that’s mean what I’m doing is working, and I’ve to continue doing and improving it.”
But if your inner chatter is like this, “I just achieved my goal, now nobody can defeat me, I’m the best.” Then that’s the starting of your end. Remember, if you can achieve something, then there are over seven billion humans on earth, so many may have already defeated you.
You don’t have to see the seven billion people in the whole world. Even your peers can beat you if they practice. We all are humans; if one can do something, we all can do that. That’s why don’t feed your ego and don’t get overconfident. Not only that, I think it is not a wise decision to compete with anybody other than yourself.
Yes, there are some people who always try to rub your back. The reason could be anything, maybe it is their habit, or they want something from you.
Our parents like to criticize us on every matter. Why they do that? There might be many reasons, and I don’t think we have to listen to all of them. You can think of me as a wicked person, it’s your thinking, and I have no control over that. But I know my mother and father are humans, and they are not always right.
Sometimes parents criticize us because they like it doing. They like bitching about their children in front of other relatives. It is a powerful human trait to control. And our parents do it, most of the time, in front of us!
But yes, not always they do it because of this human characteristic. Parents love their children and want to do everything to make them happy. Moreover, they don’t want to see their child fail or depressed. So parents always try to guide us. They want us to be successful.
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The problem is, they cannot know everything. If you want to pursue YouTube as a career and maybe the parents have zero experience with it. Then obviously, they will forbid you to do that. Humans tend to fear untested new thing, though many are earning lakhs from YouTube, for parents, it is untested. Maybe because the most famous boys in our society are not doing it, or it is not a traditional secure job.
Sometimes the work you are planning has less popularity among the so-called good boys, and our parents like to follow them. That’s why it is difficult to do something which is not trending in society and which is not stereotypically secure as a job.
Like if someone wants to become a cricketer, and his/her parents have zero knowledge in that field. Then most probably, they will demotivate you. (Though not all the parents are like that.) If you have confidence, passion and the grit to become a cricketer, don’t listen to your parents!
But we must not disrespect them. Parents want you to become successful. They don’t want to see you suffer. That’s why parents gave their everything to protect their child. And that unconditional love sometimes blindfolds them. They don’t use the brain but the mind.
Destructive criticisms are those negative comments which you cannot use to better your work. This type of discouragement from someone can break your will to work and demotivate you. But with proper handling, you can overcome bad words from people easily.
Don’t always ignore them, though.
When most people are saying you cannot do something, that means you’ve lack expertise now. But with time and practice, you can undoubtedly master any skills. (Yes, I am not ignoring the fact that sometimes the most qualified people don’t get the what he/she deserves. I am just saying it could be a good metric for deciding your progress.)
Now, what does the word destructive criticism even means?
Definition: Criticism performed with the intention to harm someone, derogate and destroy someone’s creation, prestige, reputation and self-esteem. (Source: Wiktionary)
You may now got a idea. Now let’s know about a metric which can help to know if you are getting to towards your goal by analysing the destuctive criticism. If the positive criticisms are leading, that’s mean you are progressing or achieved your goal. When the reverse is happening, that means you have not reached your destination yet.
It is also true that you cannot make happy everyone, there will be some people who will never become satisfied. So ignoring their remarks is the right thing to do.
Also, don’t mix this ratio method with spamming. Spamming is a different thing, and you must not take them seriously. Because it is someone or an organization who are posting negative remarks with several accounts, or maybe they use bots to do that.
Constructive criticism is those, which help you to identify your faults. These are not just some ugly remarks about your work, but advice to consider. Destructive criticisms are short, but constructive ones are long and descriptive.
Definition: Criticism intended to provide suggestions for improvement without insulting the recipient.
When someone is remarking that your YouTube video wasted their time, they are giving you destructive criticism. But when someone says he/she had a poor experience with your video because of sound quality and advising you to improve it. That person is giving you constructive criticism. Don’t be blindfolded to these negative comments, as they can help you to grow your YouTube Channel.
Not only in Youtube, or online though, the same rule applies to the real world. If someone advising you from their personal experience, not from their common sense, then think about that advice.
Some people always try to prove them right. They present themself like there is no wisdom they do not know. Try to ignore these types of people. These types of people created a different kind of criticism, which I called seemingly constructive criticism. It has the trait of constructive criticism, but the person giving the advice doesn’t have personal experience or deep knowledge about the subject. They are giving you advice from common sense. Beware of these types of people and try to take advice from the experts.
Criticism From Professional
That’s why I will suggest you get help from professionals. Or at least who has some experience in the field you are also working. I mean, an engineer cannot give you advice on health better and proper than a doctor.
In this world of the internet, information is available everywhere. But do you know, what is the most tedious job; Finding the correct information. You can learn from free resources or paid ones. The internet connects you with the world.
The world has many talents willing the give their knowledge for free. So it is easier than in the past to get what you need at your fingertips. But to know what is right or wrong, you have to analyze the facts carefully.
I will suggest before taking any decision, search google and see what experts are advising.
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